Early Work
2016-2017
(poetry collection)
Time
2016
Time is a man-made concept,
But timing is universal:
When is the right time to kiss him?
When is the right time to tell him I love him?
Two weeks? Three months? Six months?
No— when is the right
Moment, I can't fuck this up…
When is the right time to tell him I can't do it anymore?
(When is the right time to tell her I can't do it anymore?)
That it's all become too much,
That I'm on the edge and will is
Crumbling beneath my feet,
That I'm falling and the world is falling too.
Reach out and fucking grab me
(Reach out and grab her)
Before I am swallowed by darkness
And land cuffed and chained to Him.
Time doesn't exist,
But timing is everything—
Damn it!
It was all wrong…
When is the right time to tell him I'll always love him?
When is the right
Heartbreak
2017
My soul aches for another she once knew,
once shared a moment in time with.
(This life has changed us.)
My soul concaves into herself and brings my body with her,
curling me into the fetal position.
(She tries to rip through my bones.)
Space moves us further apart, but
She is not yet ready to move on.
(In time, She will be.)
Touch Me, 2016
Touch me,
Touch me,
My body
Is writhing
Under
Your skin
Is chafing
Mine;
It’s fine,
It’s fine,
Bite me,
Burn me,
Tear me apart
From between
My thighs;
Hurt me,
Hurt me,
Bruise and
Abuse me,
Crush me and
Use me,
Then throw me
Away;
Kill me,
Kill me,
Murder and
Bury me
Six feet
Below
In the grave
I’ve made
In dirt,
I’m dirt,
Reaching
To you,
Forever
Kneeling
At your feet
Not breathing,
Calloused hands
At my neck,
Squeezing,
Gasping, pleading,
I’m yours.
Stars
2017
I think you and I were born from the same star,
Separated in space and reunited on Earth.
It was written in history that we should explode—
I wonder how many times we have.
One Night Stand
2017
I can taste you
In the back of my throat;
You cling to the tiny hairs
In my nose.
You remind me of divorce and
Self-harm and skipping class,
Of finding relief
In tar and smoke.
You taste like tears and
Adrenaline and everything good that
We could have been
If we were different people.
But you are nothing more
Than a hundred poems I'll never read
And a thousand stories I'll never know,
The drugs I will take again and
Again
Until I crumble amongst rubble
And look to your toothy grin
For another go.
Something Similar
2016
He tells
me I'm
pretty
inside
and out;
I want
to say
something
simi-
lar in
return,
but the
only
words that
come to
mind are
“I love you.”
Rose-Tinted Glasses
2017
I stand here at God’s gate,
In between skipped classes,
But he keeps telling me to wait.
In my drunken state,
I feign happiness with the masses as
I stand here at God’s gate.
I crumble under my own hate
And lay among cigarette ashes,
But he keeps telling me to wait.
They tell me it's too late,
That I'll never be granted passage,
But still I stand here at God’s gate.
My own downfall I did create,
Tripping over graves and acid,
But he keeps telling me to wait.
I won't admit I'm afraid of my own fate;
In these rose-tinted glasses,
I stand here at God’s gate,
But he keeps telling me to wait.
From Temptation, I Will Be Delivered
2017
From temptation, I will be delivered,
As I run from loveless wed,
But your touch tempts me to reconsider.
God sold my soul to the cheapest bidder,
So I’ll take yours with me instead.
From temptation, I will be delivered.
Just one night of lust and vigor
Unraveled the mystery in your head
And your touch tempts me to reconsider.
Now I’m running even quicker,
Not away, but to your bed,
From temptation, I will be delivered.
I never thought I’d love a sinner,
But the lies are greater than any truth he said;
Just your touch tempts me to reconsider.
All the poems and drugs and liquor
Cannot numb the love I’ve bled.
From temptation, I will be delivered,
But your touch tempts me to reconsider.
Commuters
2017
A time ago, when we were both new,
We began our journeys in different places
And ended them each day in adjacent spaces,
Where poets tend to pass through.
We talked and laughed and made our debut,
Kissing between lines my mind still traces.
But, no longer a child, you’ve left me most graceless
And continue your journey where I dare not pursue.
I think about the times when we weren’t moving,
Embracing where our faculties aligned,
And understand why our paths so briefly intertwined:
To learn what it means to be worth loving
And that affection should not be confined,
Though within your clutch I could’ve remained for all time.